Friday, September 25, 2009

Lone Camel of the Desert

The Exalted One fighting evil with his trusty turd rifle

Never trust a camel

Lesson number one, Dear Acolyte: Never trust a camel!  Noble beast the camel is, you must never turn your back on the creature.  It seems to inflame them with passion and perhaps resentment.  The Camel is a passionate animal and has it's own ways which must be respected. Foolish youth that I was, I misunderestimated that passion and payed the price. 

Biologist may say this or that about the camel, but to me, the camels acts, no less, then like a rotten teenager!  Watching, waiting for the first opportunity for malicious mischief.  The cunning, passionate animal strikes the first second you let you guard down!  Oh boy, that camel nailed me a good one.  Face down, I was, in a heap of dung, kicked and spat upon.  The worse part is the mocking, pitiless leer while you are upon the ground, wiping yourself off and checking for broken bones.  Nothing can express contempt like a camel!  Heard enough you say?  No!, at the last, the camel plays victim like a Hollywood actor, sulking and kicking up clods with big, sad eyes.  It is almost too much to endure.  

Why then, Exalted One?

Dear Acolyte, you have every right to ask how the camel became pillar of the Church of the Blue Moon. Even I wizened by the trials of life on this earthly plane have struggled with this issue and plunged into the depths of My very soul for an answer. Answers sometimes come reluctantly and in their own good time, so it was with me.
Lying on my cot, bruised and beaten as I was from the onslaught of the Mighty Camel of the Desert, I drifted into a fitful and restless sleep. Upon awaking, I looked up to the textured ceiling, scanning for the inevitable venomous spider known in that local. No spider, ah, I thought, one less thing.... Then, I noticed it! The camel! in the texture and shadows of the cracked ceiling, starring down, the beady eyes of the very camel that put me down like a bug. With a look on its wicked camel face like a teen that wanted the car and was going to get it. I knew my goose was cooked! I was silent with fear but got the message and camel got the keys to the Church. Mercifully, sleep took hold again and delivered me into peaceful slumber.

Since that fateful day, Acolyte, I have made peace with Camel and like the harried parent of teens everywhere, hauling boxes of pizzas, zit cream, and Waiting in an icy parking out outside a burger joint, turned over the car keys. Not defeat, accommodation. An so, Dear Acolyte, you have learned the first lesson of the Church of the Blue Moon. Bless you!


Moon Beams on your Naked Booty

Church of the Blue Moon/Moon Beams on your Naked Booty Part I

Lone Camel of the Desert
Church of the Blue Moon/Moon Beams on your Naked Booty Part II

Temptation of the Salty Sea

Garibaldi's Cereal Bowl

Enlightened Boy and the School for Bad Girls

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Celtic Cross


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